My Child Has A Hand Difference
My name is Kim, my husband is Glen and we have Baylee, our son, who is two-and-a-half and Charlee, our little girl who is nine-months-old.
Baylee has symbrachydactyly of the left hand.
We didn’t find out about that until after Baylee was born. The doctors didn’t even seem to know what was going on. We went through the private system – and because Baylee was breached, we had a scheduled C-section.
We had lots of scans but didn’t get to see our little guy until he was born. This resulted in my very tough husband passing out when the doctor took him aside and showed Glen his missing left hand.
I knew something was not how it should be almost immediately and almost screamed for my baby to be given to me, while the doctors and nurses gathered around Glen.
We laugh now as we have the most perfect, humorous little clown that constantly makes us laugh.
It would have been really nice to know before he was born so we could prepare ourselves, do some research and prepare our family and friends.
Knowing earlier would have allowed us to reach out to Aussie Hands and realise that everything would be more than ok. We wasted so many tears.
When we first found out, the first thing that went through our heads was “will he be ok?’’ and ”how can we fix this?’’ Then… ‘’will he play football?’’, ‘’where will he wear his wedding ring?’’ and ‘’would other kids be nice to him?’’
There was a lot of emotion, a lot of tears and I felt like my heart was breaking a million times over as I held our precious first baby. ‘’Would everyone love him as much as we do?’’
I wish I knew then what I know now. Baylee is the life of any party and loves making people laugh.
The doctors took him away for lots of scans, as they thought his hand difference may have something to do with a weak heart. It wasn’t anything like that. It wasn’t until Baylee was a couple of weeks old that we were referred to another doctor, who told us all bout Aussie Hands. This was AWESOME for us and the stories and videos were exactly what we needed.
Our family is lucky and blessed to have such an awesome support group and the very best friends that we can talk too.
My mothers’ group have been amazing. Again, the first meeting was hard, emotional and had lots of tears. I remember sitting in the circle not knowing that these awesome girls were coping with the birth of a tiny human being and had their own struggles with feeding, sleeping and different things. When it was my turn to speak and introduce myself and Baylee…. I simply couldn’t. How do I put into words “my son doesn’t really have a hand?’’ Glen did it for me……and for that I will always be so proud of my husband.
Baylee is a nutter. He loves dancing, throwing a ball and doing everything and more that a two-year-old enjoys. Baylee goes to daycare once a week and the other kids have only just got to the curious stage.
Baylee has recently told Glen that his hand is broken. As you can imagine this brought a new wave of tears and emotion but also made us realise that we need to tell him that he’s not broken – he’s extra special.
People are people. They are all different. Some are curious and will ask what happened, especially little kids. They are the best. In the park they mainly ask “does it hurt?”. When I tell them no, they shrug and all keep on playing.
His friends in my mother’s group don’t even know that Baylee has a difference as they have all grown up together. If we go to a play centre and they ask what hand to put the band on, I usually giggle and suggest that they use the right hand, as it may slip off the other hand.
If Baylee needs a stamp to go on a bouncy castle he will put out his little left hand and people barely notice.
The only thing that has really hurt was when a doctor said quite bluntly that ‘’we have been hoping for the last 10 years that something would change and it hasn’t’’. This was in reply to me saying; ‘’well by the time Baylee is 10, I am sure technology may have some advancement’’.
First, I was angry and felt hopeless. But then I reminded myself that these doctors see far worse things – and this really was not a big deal.
I would tell myself not to cry, not to worry and to enjoy these precious moments. This little guy will teach you things that you didn’t even know. He doesn’t know any different and the people that matter most will think exactly the same.
The first Aussie Hands event was emotional. But as time has gone on, you get to know others and the stories they have and can tell. They are a BRILLIANT group of mums and dads with awesome kids.